I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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