no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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