spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
