That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
