Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize