When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize