YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
