he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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