left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
