dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
