HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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