when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
