I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize