i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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