i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
