I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
