Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
