His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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