is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
