Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
