is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
