Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Randomize
