He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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