But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
