so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
