Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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