So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
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Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
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Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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