Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
