Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
