Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
