i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
