Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
