I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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