We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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