a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
