I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
