There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.