Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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