There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I wish I only lived at night.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month