as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
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A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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