hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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