And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize