I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
