so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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