Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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