I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
