speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Life is so much better after having sex.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Help. Why am I so naked?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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