I think I died a long time ago.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
