TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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