forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
