Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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