I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just invented taco cereal.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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