shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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