I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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