I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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