just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Randomize
