Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
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I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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