if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
