my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
