You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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