Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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